Learning to bite my tongue? Well, luckily, I can still have my blog. Here are the things I would have said today:
"Hairstylist, I did not ask to look like the fourth member of Charlie's Angels. I know you like to make my hair feathery. And I know it's really cool that the texture can be oooooh so wispy, but I'd like to be able to re-enter society this afternoon. So START OVER."
"Salesperson at Pasta and Company, please do not judge me for coming here twice already this week. I have been sick--too sick to want to cook. If you're going to judge me, then please pick a different area of my life, like how I'm still lusting after designer jeans even when I know it's a waste of money and really challenges my ethics. Yeah, that would be a good place to start.:
"Husband-to-be, please take the day off work and spend it with me. It does not matter that the future of America's youth really does depend on people like you. It does not matter that your kids have a spelling test, or that you're planning to debut a new read-aloud selection. I would prefer to spend the day reading in a hammock together, so if you could just make that happen, I'd appreciate it."
"Woman in ridiculous silver booties, please don't wear shoes that can't support your six-foot frame."
"Weddingbee Editors, PICK ME ALREADY."
The End.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
happy v-day.
I love...
roasted red peppers
children's books
rick-rack
stories of redemption
yellow and blue
my hubby
paper dolls
sheet music
pretty lampshades
knowing that Jesus is God
communicating in another language
cookbooks
my parents' backyard
baby clothes
haiku friends
listening to NPR in the car
firm pillows
colorado weather
wet sand
Happy Valentine's Day. It was a good one.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Series of Ridiculous Events
Introduction.
Body paragraph.
1. In state of induced DayQuil coma, I walk outside in my pajamas at noon on Saturday to mail a check (late of course) to an Etsy vendor who now thinks I'm a criminal who doesn't pay for handmade goods. But before I venture down our rickety stairs, I reach back to lock the door, like any good person would. Alas, I am quickly become "That Person Who Locked Self Out of House While Entire World Caucuses." It was a long two hours, and it was a landslide anyway. Great work, Holly.
2. Buy several cute valentines for lovable people in my life. Neglect to mail them before appropriate postal cut-off date. Excellent.
3. Attend Friday's political rally with the expectation that 1)my heaving chest won't be an issue, and 2)I will be able to hear above the thunderous crowd of high schoolers that have apparently been allowed to attend with the principal's permission. I'm glad I went--it was certainly a good experience in gaining a little hands-on insight, but in the future I think I'll stick to watching the YouTube debates and reading NYT profiles and voting histories. I was hoping for a conversion experience, and it just didn't happen for me. I'm still supporting the candidate, I'm just not impressed with the whole rally part.
4. Call Dustin in fit of self-pity (pathetic ill child that I am) and promptly harass him into coming to pick me up--I want a cupcake, and I want it now. Adjust attitude immediately.
5. Search online for information about free online tax filing and dive right in. This is very unlike me, to be afraid of something for six months and then accomplish said frightful task in about an hour. Or maybe it is like me...
6. Email designer to ask for custom letterpressed wedding invitations for about $20 total, expect legitimate answer to be YES.
Conclusion: I have been in bed too long. Tomorrow I must get OUT.
Body paragraph.
1. In state of induced DayQuil coma, I walk outside in my pajamas at noon on Saturday to mail a check (late of course) to an Etsy vendor who now thinks I'm a criminal who doesn't pay for handmade goods. But before I venture down our rickety stairs, I reach back to lock the door, like any good person would. Alas, I am quickly become "That Person Who Locked Self Out of House While Entire World Caucuses." It was a long two hours, and it was a landslide anyway. Great work, Holly.
2. Buy several cute valentines for lovable people in my life. Neglect to mail them before appropriate postal cut-off date. Excellent.
3. Attend Friday's political rally with the expectation that 1)my heaving chest won't be an issue, and 2)I will be able to hear above the thunderous crowd of high schoolers that have apparently been allowed to attend with the principal's permission. I'm glad I went--it was certainly a good experience in gaining a little hands-on insight, but in the future I think I'll stick to watching the YouTube debates and reading NYT profiles and voting histories. I was hoping for a conversion experience, and it just didn't happen for me. I'm still supporting the candidate, I'm just not impressed with the whole rally part.
4. Call Dustin in fit of self-pity (pathetic ill child that I am) and promptly harass him into coming to pick me up--I want a cupcake, and I want it now. Adjust attitude immediately.
5. Search online for information about free online tax filing and dive right in. This is very unlike me, to be afraid of something for six months and then accomplish said frightful task in about an hour. Or maybe it is like me...
6. Email designer to ask for custom letterpressed wedding invitations for about $20 total, expect legitimate answer to be YES.
Conclusion: I have been in bed too long. Tomorrow I must get OUT.
Friday, February 1, 2008
since reading my bible stresses me out...
I'm overwhelmed by Bible reading for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I've been a Christian for about, oh, two DECADES, and I still haven't the foggiest idea why a lot of the Bible is, uh, IN the Bible. (Those minor prophets? That whole circumcision thing? Kinda weird, I think. The wrath of God, and how it seems like he keeps changing his mind on the Israelites? I will smite you, I won't smite you. Ack.)
ANYWAY. Now that I've made it sufficiently clear that much of the Bible confuses me to the point of eating straight Ben and Jerry's Liberal Nut Ice Cream (that's a joke, but that would be a good flavor name)...let me share two things that have given me hope of late.
From the book, Understanding Difficult Scriptures in a Healing Way:
If any interpretation of a scripture passage is not consistent with my life experience of authentically giving and receiving love, then I am not understanding what God wants to say to me through that passage. Love is the criterion [for a whole interpretation of scripture].
I appreciate this philosophy because it eliminates the possibility of using scripture as a means to promote hatred, judgment, racism, sexism, and on and on it goes. If love is the lens through which we read our Bibles, well, then it will make us more conscientious of how we treat others "in the name of Jesus."
Okay, second item on my list. Maryann, this is straight from you, so I hope you quoted Dorothy Sayers correctly:
Language, however strong, violent, or emphatic will expunge from the mind of the average anti-Christian the picture he has formed of Christian Soteriology, viz: that Jehovah (the old man with the beard) made the world and made it so badly that it all went wrong and he wanted to burn it up in a rage; whereat the Son (who was younger and nicer, and not implicated in his Father's irresponsible experiment) said: "Oh, don't do that! If you must torment somebody, take it out of me." So Jehovah vented his sadistic spite on a victim who had nothing to do with it all, and thereafter begrudgingly allowed people to go to heaven if they provided themselves with a ticket of admission signed by the Son...This grotesque mythology is not in the least exaggerated: it is what they think we mean.
So when I'm having trouble fathoming all that is Christianity, I step back and remember that sometimes it IS really overwhelming, and that I must continue to know Jesus and God in a context that isn't the world's. Does that make sense? No. If I buy this story, this story that Jesus is a big weeeeeeirdo who died because his father had an anger problem, then of COURSE it will be hard to stick with it.
But because I know that LOVE is the criterion, I know there's so much more to it than that. And that's enough to keep me hoping for the beautiful things, like peace.
ANYWAY. Now that I've made it sufficiently clear that much of the Bible confuses me to the point of eating straight Ben and Jerry's Liberal Nut Ice Cream (that's a joke, but that would be a good flavor name)...let me share two things that have given me hope of late.
From the book, Understanding Difficult Scriptures in a Healing Way:
If any interpretation of a scripture passage is not consistent with my life experience of authentically giving and receiving love, then I am not understanding what God wants to say to me through that passage. Love is the criterion [for a whole interpretation of scripture].
I appreciate this philosophy because it eliminates the possibility of using scripture as a means to promote hatred, judgment, racism, sexism, and on and on it goes. If love is the lens through which we read our Bibles, well, then it will make us more conscientious of how we treat others "in the name of Jesus."
Okay, second item on my list. Maryann, this is straight from you, so I hope you quoted Dorothy Sayers correctly:
Language, however strong, violent, or emphatic will expunge from the mind of the average anti-Christian the picture he has formed of Christian Soteriology, viz: that Jehovah (the old man with the beard) made the world and made it so badly that it all went wrong and he wanted to burn it up in a rage; whereat the Son (who was younger and nicer, and not implicated in his Father's irresponsible experiment) said: "Oh, don't do that! If you must torment somebody, take it out of me." So Jehovah vented his sadistic spite on a victim who had nothing to do with it all, and thereafter begrudgingly allowed people to go to heaven if they provided themselves with a ticket of admission signed by the Son...This grotesque mythology is not in the least exaggerated: it is what they think we mean.
So when I'm having trouble fathoming all that is Christianity, I step back and remember that sometimes it IS really overwhelming, and that I must continue to know Jesus and God in a context that isn't the world's. Does that make sense? No. If I buy this story, this story that Jesus is a big weeeeeeirdo who died because his father had an anger problem, then of COURSE it will be hard to stick with it.
But because I know that LOVE is the criterion, I know there's so much more to it than that. And that's enough to keep me hoping for the beautiful things, like peace.
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