antes de salir, yo quiero decir...

Some days are so full of, humanity, I guess you could say, that I imagine I'm actually in a movie, Garden State, perhaps, and that there are Natalie Merchant songs playing as the camera of Life flies high above my head and pans to a view of the wide open road.

Why do I have such fantasies, you ask?

Let me tell you.

Last night my friends Jared and Rachael stopped by with a little happy for me--they had offered to help send me to El Salvador, and LO AND BEHOLD--let's just say their generosity knows no bounds. Two fresh college graduates, pulling their hair out over med school interviews and zany restaurant jobs, and they managed to pay HALF of my remaining costs. A miracle! And a most humbling one for me, when I realize that the steps that have led me to Agros, as much as I detest this kind of Christian-ese, seem providential. I don't mind.


Then this morning I headed to church for my usual dose of preschooler playtime, and in our teacher meeting, the whole crew suddenly wanted to head all about my said trip. And of course people have been interested, willing to listen and all that, but in our short get-together these women were suddenly chomping at the bit to hear about the work, the purpose, the community, the dangers (oh my!) and the team of travelers. I can't tell you how lovely it felt to receive their blessings on our journey. My job as glorified day care provider certainly has its perks.

Sweet baby with huge brown eyes, dramatic curls and exceptional eating habits laid sweet dramatic curls on my shoulder all afternoon. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

In midst of sweet baby's nap, I started reading archives on Dooce.com (thank you, Carly), and I must say, I DEFINITELY wish she were my next door neighbor. Not in Utah, of course, but somewhere warm and sunny, but not annoyingly beachy (let me know if you think of the place I'm imagining). Anyway, her blog is thoroughly tagged (you'll notice I'm now inspired to do the same), self-aware (she acknowledges her love of the CAPS LOCK key, and I'm now acknowledging my obsession with parentheses), and contains the story of her very layered life. I was most interested in reading the posts about her journey through postpartum depression and her subsequent treatment in a psychiatric ward. And how she's thriving today. Do read her stories--they are priceless.

And then. I came home to a very full mailbox--February's Martha Stewart, my gift subscription (thanks Son!) to Cooking Light, and this is what made me cry and feel very, very human: a postcard from the City of Seattle about the Aurora Bridge Suicide Prevention Fence.

I know that in many ways, I will always well up and cringe and weep and remember at the thought of suicide, and I appreciate having had the experience to make me understand how shitty it is...but there's something about a community coming together to prevent suicide in this way...I just appreciate it. A lot. I know there's more to be done, hotlines, better mental health resources, less stigma, but this seems like an important part of the solution. No more plastic crosses flicking in the bursts of trafficky breezes. It's a small start, but I'm glad we're taking it. Seattle just gets it, I think. And it makes me proud.