Monday, July 14, 2008

Who Needs Birth Control?

You heard me. Who needs birth control when I can be a daily witness to the vivid reality of toddler hissy fits? It's enough to make me head to the convent (with my new husband in tow, of course).

Today I spent some quality time with a three-year-old we'll call Rosie. Now Miss Rosie lives in an immaculate "castle" where she plays princess all day, every day. Somehow I think the princess gig has become a little too realistic, because this afternoon, when Rosie was sent to her room for refusing to cooperate re: using the potty, she stuck her head out her perfectly royal window and BELLOWED the following to the neighbors, who happened to be in the front yard.

HELP!

HELP ME, PLEASE!

HELP ME SO MUCH!

I NEED HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

And then I marched inside her jail-cell-pink bedroom, gave a wink and nod to the concerned PTA Mom next door and gave that kid the stink eye. Idealist.com, I need you now more than ever.

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