Evidence That Demands a Verdict*

Last night I cleaned out the deep, dark recesses of my deep, dark purse. There was one witness, my husband. This is what he saw.

1. Receipts from Target, Target, J.Crew, my therapist (ha! they don't give receipts, silly), Metropolitan Market, Safeway, Target, Thai Tom, and Ten Pachi Hair Salon. Speaks volumes.

2. One ham sandwich, from yesterday, mind you, but still. A ham sandwich in my purse. I am a bag lady.

3. An apple. To match sandwich, obviously.

4. Take-out menu from Cedars. 

5. At least five wrappers from the green tea echinacea lozenges I've been sucking down this week. SO good. It's my favorite thing about sick. 

6. More receipts from Target, this time for returns (see #1).

7. Random checkbook.

8. Two phones--one working iPhone, one nonworking Razor.

9. Three earrings and one rhinestone, costume-like necklace. From a certain Cinderella costume at, ahem, Halloween.

10. Church bulletins from two very different churches. 

11. Samples of Cetaphil Face Wash, Purpose Daily Cleanser, and Aquaphor. Somebody loves her some dermatology office!

12. Two letters, both stamped and addressed. From two weeks ago.

13. Pen I took from J.Crew the day I spontaneously applied to work at the new Crewcuts. Pen was taken after I told the hiring manager that I "already have a real job." Shining moment. They have yet to call. 

14. One size four diaper. You JUST NEVER KNOW. The nanny in me never dies.

15. Four balled-up kleenexes. 

16. Key to Kelsey's old car.

17. Key to Kelsey's new car.

18. Key to Brittany's house.

19. My 2009 to-do list (many items already checked, surprisingly!).

20. My favorite hot-pink MAC Lipglass. 

Take the clean-purse challenge, folks. Now tell me what you find!

*Obviously I am making a biblical allusion. Or at least one to annoyingly titled Christian literature. Get with it.