Don't Call Me

Dear Mr. Technology,

You rock my world. Daily. I love knowing that I can pretend to understand a conversation 'round the watercooler, run back to my desk, Wikipedia the mystery reference and make an "informed" comment the next time I swing by. This is a fabulous convenience: I feel cool.

I also love, Mr. Techie, the way my iPhone gives me instantaneous answers about my bus's whereabouts (downtown, three minutes delayed) and reminders for family birthdays. I couldn't do without these luxuries now that I'm so painfully spoiled. You get me, Techie, you really do.

But Tech, there has been a price for all this luxury. Mostly, I have become That Girl Who Doesn't Get Back to People. It's been a long time coming. People usually expect me to delay in responding to emails, answering friend requests, replying to messages, commenting in return on a blog, texting back my weekend plans, and on and on. BUT WAIT A MINUTE. What is wrong with this picture? There are ten, TEN ways that people can reach me these days.

And ten is way too many. You have created a monster, Techno Man. Home phone, cell phone, text, Gmail, G-chat, Facebook: messages, walls and chat, work email, and work phone. How am I supposed to sustain that kind of communication? WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT? I know I'm not the only one. But I am just not interesting in juggle all of this anymore.

So, Mr. T, I am waving my white flag. You win. I admit defeat. I'm not the girl who can be counted on when it comes to answering the call of duty. If people want to reach me, they can come and knock on my frickin' door. The rat race of "reply all" is ending today. The reply time guilt is whooshing down the drain as we speak. I know you'll try and woo me back. I'll continue to suffer the silent judgment of the Quick Replyers, but you will know who has my heart: Mr. Doorbell.

Love,

Holly Elizabeth

Keep Yourselves Busy

This is what I look like as I emerge from my iPhone-laden cave in the morning. Boo!

A frightening thought crossed my mind the other day: how many hours do I spend sitting and staring at a computer every day? At first I was thinking, well, probably five. But when I got really honest with myself, I spend many hours at work on the computer, and then GOBS more time online once I get home! And as much as I enjoy reading, cooking, eating (duh) and adventuring around Seattle, I am still itching to check my email, see what's flashing on the Seattle Times, and read up on la vida de Dooce.

The natural reaction for me was to feel really guilty and depressed about the ways I am SUCH a child of this techy generation (I think maybe I'm a Catholic, deep down), but then I got over it and realized it would be way more fun to give you all ideas about how we can waste time together.

And without further adieu, places you should visit...

1. Stuff Christians Like is pretty much the pillar of my world right now. Sweet relief.

2. This girl, Annie, who used to sing at our church, is good friends with some friends of friends, is a really wonderful blogger (and singer!). She's worth reading up on, and don't just put her in your reader because the paisleys on her site are delicious.

3. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you haven't been to Chowhound yet, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Nebraska? (Hi Mom!) Articles detailing the importance of how to hold one's wine glass and the true repercussions of arriving late for a coveted reservation are enough to keep my Comcast bill very, very high.

4. Obviously, read my friends in the blog roll. That goes without saying, but I have uniquely gifted friends, if I do say so myself.

5. Mighty Girl is so stinking cool. If I lived in San Fran, it's possible I would stalk her. She is friends with Dooce, she wrote a book, her kid has a cute name, and she gets paid to shop online. Also, her hair is fiery red, and it is huge. Hair this awesome happens to be my goal in life.

6. Oprah, as in every other area, dominates in the cool website category. The recipe section is awesome, as are the endless pictures of Suze Orman looking like a wild banshee. And Lordy, the gift guides.

I also love Rotten Tomatoes, Anna Maria Horner, and the hometown newspaper from where I grew up.

And while I'm babbling away here, purposelessly, I should tell you that the perch on my couch allows a fabulous view of the Christmas/holiday/whateveryouwant tree atop the Space Needle and I am smitten.

Evidence That Demands a Verdict*

Last night I cleaned out the deep, dark recesses of my deep, dark purse. There was one witness, my husband. This is what he saw.

1. Receipts from Target, Target, J.Crew, my therapist (ha! they don't give receipts, silly), Metropolitan Market, Safeway, Target, Thai Tom, and Ten Pachi Hair Salon. Speaks volumes.

2. One ham sandwich, from yesterday, mind you, but still. A ham sandwich in my purse. I am a bag lady.

3. An apple. To match sandwich, obviously.

4. Take-out menu from Cedars. 

5. At least five wrappers from the green tea echinacea lozenges I've been sucking down this week. SO good. It's my favorite thing about sick. 

6. More receipts from Target, this time for returns (see #1).

7. Random checkbook.

8. Two phones--one working iPhone, one nonworking Razor.

9. Three earrings and one rhinestone, costume-like necklace. From a certain Cinderella costume at, ahem, Halloween.

10. Church bulletins from two very different churches. 

11. Samples of Cetaphil Face Wash, Purpose Daily Cleanser, and Aquaphor. Somebody loves her some dermatology office!

12. Two letters, both stamped and addressed. From two weeks ago.

13. Pen I took from J.Crew the day I spontaneously applied to work at the new Crewcuts. Pen was taken after I told the hiring manager that I "already have a real job." Shining moment. They have yet to call. 

14. One size four diaper. You JUST NEVER KNOW. The nanny in me never dies.

15. Four balled-up kleenexes. 

16. Key to Kelsey's old car.

17. Key to Kelsey's new car.

18. Key to Brittany's house.

19. My 2009 to-do list (many items already checked, surprisingly!).

20. My favorite hot-pink MAC Lipglass. 

Take the clean-purse challenge, folks. Now tell me what you find!

*Obviously I am making a biblical allusion. Or at least one to annoyingly titled Christian literature. Get with it.