What I'd be saying on Facebook...

1. I think The Help is about to land itself on Stuff White People Like.

2. Heartburn is like having little gremlins climb up your esophagus and yell, "BITE ME, you sonuva gun!" And I just whimper in reply.

3. The week after Camp Side-by-Side is also the week when I remember everything else that's still happening in the world: riots, bills to be paid, flower beds to stare at helplessly.

4. It's a hard to take care of oneself around people who don't know how to do that for themselves. Or who do it so differently than I do.

5. I miss Oprah.

6. Grocery shopping at Target is literally the opposite of watching Food, Inc.

7. Chicken: You are so disgusting when you are raw, and sometimes when you are not raw.

8. Marital satisfaction rises when all parties are doing their chores.

9. Most pregnancy trends have turned out not to be true.

10. I'm hoping most parenting trends will turn out to be unimportant: I'm not paying much attention to them because it's too easy to get freaked out.

11. I still love making new friends.

12. We are having a BOY!!!