Laughed out loud...

Source: witanddelight.tumblr.com via Allie on Pinterest

Wordle of the Month

What I'd be saying on Facebook...

1. I think The Help is about to land itself on Stuff White People Like.

2. Heartburn is like having little gremlins climb up your esophagus and yell, "BITE ME, you sonuva gun!" And I just whimper in reply.

3. The week after Camp Side-by-Side is also the week when I remember everything else that's still happening in the world: riots, bills to be paid, flower beds to stare at helplessly.

4. It's a hard to take care of oneself around people who don't know how to do that for themselves. Or who do it so differently than I do.

5. I miss Oprah.

6. Grocery shopping at Target is literally the opposite of watching Food, Inc.

7. Chicken: You are so disgusting when you are raw, and sometimes when you are not raw.

8. Marital satisfaction rises when all parties are doing their chores.

9. Most pregnancy trends have turned out not to be true.

10. I'm hoping most parenting trends will turn out to be unimportant: I'm not paying much attention to them because it's too easy to get freaked out.

11. I still love making new friends.

12. We are having a BOY!!!

No gracias

Again with the Facebook marketing!!! They just suggested I be friends with my dad's divorce lawyer. I mean, can you at least suggest my mom's as well??? WTH. (I'm such a prude.)

PS- Sometimes I know my posts are actually tweets but I cannot handle the linky links on Twitter. I have tried to like it and I do not. Fickle, fickle, fickle. So I tweet here, in your humble blog presence.

False Cognates

Recently, a certain member of our household confused the words loofah and doula. (Hint: This person's name starts with a Du and ends with a Stin.) The following is a 100% accurate transcription of our conversation.

Confused Household Member (CHM): I really need a doula in the shower.

Me: (Blank stare.)

CHM: I just really need one to scratch my back and stuff.

Me: What are you saying?

CHM: I like the scratching on my SKIN! Why is that weird?

Me: OH HONESTLY. You mean a LOOOOOOOFAH. You are very confused about what a doula does.

CHM: What's a doula again?

Me: A childbirth support person. Typically a woman. She scratches your backs during labor.

CHM: Hmmm. Well, maybe I wasn't so confused after all.

I'm trying not to think about that unflattering angle.

But I'm so proud of what we do and the work of Side-by-Side!

Peacemakers...

Remember how disgusting it felt to watch people celebrate after 9/11? Pretty disgusting. How soon we forget.

Good News

Several crotchety people in my periphery have complained this week about all the royal wedding hoopla. You want to know what I think?

When the world holds its breath, it's always for bad news. Earthquakes, terrorism, assassinations, scandals. Today the world held its breath for hope and joy and BEAUTY. Alexander McQueen-style beauty. Ancient tradition-style beauty. It's not everyday we can all stand up and cheer. (Except for Grace Van Mumsen.)

Long live the queen!

Before Bed

This is one of those things that is super fun to watch right before you fall asleep. I wonder what you'll dream about?

Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.

Via Design Mom

Marketing Genius?

These ads were personally selected for me thanks to Facebook's fancy "I will read your mind and generate links that make you want to BUY or PARTICIPATE" software.

Except they aren't working for me.

Rigoletto, anyone?

Move ON, Nutella.

Yesterday I left the grocery store with approximately 12 dairy products...total products purchased=18. That should tell you something about how well Jillian's 30-Day Shred is going. But I'm not here to moan. I'm here to tell you how to make the world's most splendid bagel spread.

MMMMMM.

It goes something like this: Take a clementine or orange-like fruit, squeeze the juice into a softened block of Neufchatel (pronounced noof-shah-tale, IMHO), add a little spoonful of brown sugar, a wee bit of almond extract and prepare to be exalted by all who consume this glorywork (new word I invented).

Photography is a hobby that I have only mastered in my brain, so instead, let this vivid description compel you to cook/stir!

South Africa Meets Soccer Meets TEARJERKER!!!

Don't worry... I haven't forgotten how to write my own sentences. It's just that posting videos is so much more sophisticated. I'll be back again someday!

And One More Thing...

Per Britta and Lindsey's request, I am documenting this profound fact: Last night at Crush, five women in their mid-twenties witnessed a DRAGONFLY crawl out of this girl's purse. And then she killed it. In Crush! A classy time was had by all.

Just a Moment of Your Time :)

Please watch this trailer, oh please, won't you? Please.

I'm Giving in to the Madness

Not only have I willingly succumbed to the goofy plot that is Doppelganger Week, I just trotted over to urbandictionary.com to, ahem, learn more about myself. Don't worry, I edited this for flattery's sake.

Holly: A word used to describe a beautiful and bright being.

Usually linked to a girl of average height with blonde hair and brown eyes.

Symptons of being a Holly:
- excessive loudness (no volume control)
- sometimes lives in a fantasy world- believes herself to be a princess
- Tendency to dress in a lot of pastel coloured pink
- likes to be liked & loves the people closest to her dearly

Other attributes of Hollys:
- Hardworking, motivated and ambitious
- Creative, artistic and emotive
- romantic, confident and passionate

Salad Days

Holly and Skipper, c. 1993, Cincinnati

Photoshopping c. 2001

Water balloons are not edited. Nor is the pig doormat.

A Letter to Our Landladyfriend

Ahoy!

I was just thinking of you this morning (and every other time I squeegy, ha!), and I'm so glad to hear from you. The shower is holding up great. There is no soap scum, and we are keeping it that way. Dustin says hello from the couch. He has a hard time getting off it when the view is so good.

Just kidding, he's been working very hard to set up his new class, and it's looking awesome. It almost feels like I'm reading People Magazine when I hear the stories from his world. Ridiculous. On the other hand, I love People Magazine and cannot resist its juiciest news. So it's kind of nice. Cheaper than the movies.

Tell us more about Moldova the Beautiful! We have been telling everyone that it's not a city in Switzerland, like they/we might have thought. This picture was taken when someone looked at me and said, Uh-huh. I know.

Everything is great here. There was a man eating from our dumpster yesterday morning and it made us sad (and confused and angry at the state of the world), but we do love the ways city life keeps us thinking and compassionate. It's a crappy tradeoff, that we think and he's still hungry. But we're doing what we can. Pick up some European pastries for us.

Hugs!

H&D

I Realize I'm a Lazy Blogger

But people, why write when you can cut and paste stuff this classic?

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/02/500.html

The laughter and cringing both come in waves, beware.

Fuuuuuunny