Welcome.

It felt like he would never get here. Come on already, we told him. For days and days and days we tried to talk him into making his debut, and he waited and waited and waited. Christmas came and went. Then New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. And we heard every joke about missing the tax refund and the prize for being born at 12:01am. And then we waited some more.

But he was ready right on time, it turns out. We came to the hospital at midnight, thinking it was the Real Thing. They sent us home again. Three hours later we were back, and I was 8cm dilated and out he came, three hours after that. I tried some morphine but it didn't matter, and then we were whooshing along so fast the epidural didn't happen either. He came in a blaze of glory at 6:18am on his due date. So punctual, he's already teaching me something.

Our days have been full of gurgles and burps, squirting (just...squirting), tears and belly laughs, a few meltdowns, and so much good food. Grandma came for the first five days and gave us the gift of experience and cheerleading. Friends have visited almost every day with so much enthusiasm we're inspired to face another sleepless night with bright eyes. Nurses and doctors reassure us that this kid is healthy and on his way to being a very fabulous human.





We think they are right.

In case you were about to ask...

Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
Yes. It's a boy.

Is your husband taking time off work?
Yes. It's the year 2011 and it's called egalitarianism (and being lucky enough to have jobs that give us time off, granted). We're working on it.

Are you nesting?
'Tis my middle name.

Will you go back to work?
Will I win the lottery in the next three months?

Are you swollen/sleeping poorly/uncomfortable?
(Silence.)

Can you believe you're about to be parents?
Hardly. Can't hardly wait. Can't even begin to tell you how much I can hardly wait.

Getting a grip

Wednesday was a bad day. The only way I can say it here is... WEDNESDAY WAS A BAD DAY AT WORK. We rushed home in ridiculous traffic to meet the dryer repair guy, who made it to our house before we did. Whoops.

Since I spent the entire car ride home complaining about my HORRIBLE DAY, I walked in the front door and began my other form of decompressing: cooking dinner. I started putzing and chopping onion, whirred up some rosemary bread crumbs in my handy food processor, generally got my inner Ina flowing. Mmm. Meanwhile Dustin started to chat with the repair guy about soccer and this famous player from Repair Guy's home country, Ivory Coast. And that's when I perked up. Have you heard of Didier Drogba?

From Wikipedia...

Drogba is credited with playing a vital role in bringing peace to his country. After Côte d'Ivoire qualified for the 2006 World Cup, Drogba made a desperate plea to the combatants, asking them to lay down their arms, a plea which was answered with a cease fire after five years of civil war. Drogba later helped move an African Cup of Nations qualifier to the rebel stronghold of Bouake; a move that helped confirm the peace process. In September 2011, Drogba joined the Truth, Reconciliation and Dialogue Commission as a representative to help return peace to his home nation. His involvement in the peace process lead to Drogba being named as one of the world's 100 most influential people by Time magazine for 2010.

<sup>I'm sorry, but I generally don't buy the athletes as heroes spiel. But this soccer player literally SAVED LIVES. And he's one of the reasons that I believe in soccer as a global institution. It has value beyond basic entertainment. It's unifying on a level no other sport is. Sorry, hockey fans. Sorry.

Anyway, we chatted about Didier, and then Repair Guy, whose name we learned is Konate, started asking me about Rachael Ray. Hello Konate, let's be best friends. You have built a legitimate business as an immigrant, you speak six languages (French, English, Arabic and three tribal dialects), you like Didier Drogba, AND you want to talk to me about the Food Network?

Konate stayed for two hours, much longer than it took to fix our dryer, telling us all about his tribal initiation into manhood at 13 (running through the jungle while the older men make fake hyena calls trying to scare you), marrying his wife (who was chosen for him by his uncle), and raising his three kids in the United States (he believes that his kids owe their whole futures to their teachers, so they better not screw around in class).

Then he shook our hands, congratulated us on this upcoming baby, and dashed down our driveway into the pouring rain. I looked at Dustin and giggled, and I realized my world is still cracking open wider than my bad days.</sup>

Wordle of the Month

What Happens When You Don't Work on Fridays

Me: If you come early, you'll see our messy house.
Guy from Heating Company who had an appointment: I'll let you know how messy it compares.

Surveyor who wanders into yard from Energy Company: You have a gas line here, ma'am.
Me: No, I don't. We would have heard about that in our housing inspection a year ago. And, you know, paid a bill or something.

Me: Hi, I'm calling because your Surveyor tells me we have a gas line, only it's unmarked and it doesn't exist according to the city's big fancy map. And she says that's a problem because that means nobody ever checks on it, and it could explode like that house did last week.
Customer Service Person from Energy Company: Well, ma'am, I AM SO GLAD YOU CALLED. We will send a serviceman out.

Me: Hey, you guys are making me nervous, just standing out here in your hard hats and neon vests.
Five Men from Energy Company suddenly in my driveway: No worries, ma'am. We were just in the area and decided to check out this gas line.

...two hours later, back at my front door...

Five Men from Energy Company: Ma'am, we're not equipped to do the work that needs to be done underneath your house, but we have a specialist who will be able to remove this illegal equipment from your crawlspace. We are SO GLAD YOU CALLED.

Maryann's Inspired this Fun List

Current music: NPR. How sad it that? I have completely given up listening to anything current, and somehow there's just enough noise during my day that I'm craving silence at night. And now that my life's greatest work is complete by making it on air, NPR has my full affection. I'm so boring but I can't help myself.

Current wishlist: Sleep. A solid night of it without strange body parts falling asleep. For example, top of scalp, one butt cheek at a time, heel of foot, elbow. Don't tell me how sleep deprived I'll be later. I GET IT. It's not like I can stockpile it, so bug off. I also wish that people would stop telling me their episiotomy stories. ENOUGH.

Current food: Blueberry pancakes from The Silver Palate with Orange Butter (plus lots of agave nectar since we were out of honey). Baked goods from scratch--booyah! I am a kitchen wonder.

Current TV show: Felicity on Netflix, because our computer is now officially too slow to watch Hulu, which rules out Parenthood, Glee and Top Chef. What a shame. Or is it? Now I can stare at Ben Covington and covet Keri Russell's hair and cheekbones and everything on demand.

Current location: Spare bedroom turning into baby's room. We fold laundry there, pile up the hand-me-downs, sit and stare at the crib mattress that is currently cribless. It's a nice place to be gobsmacked about our impending future.

Current book: The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver just knocked me off my feet. It reminds me of that book from childhood called Walk Two Moons. Stories about brave young women never get old. Now I'm on to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, and I am stunned that Rebecca Skloot just made up her mind to be a science writer, nevermind the story, albeit fascinating. The woman literally studied science and THEN got her MFA in Creative Nonfiction. Seriously? You can do that and then find tremendous success? What the hell. Write a book about that, lady.

Current indulgence: Drinking London Fogs early and often. I also love being able to order Shirley Temples in a bar without feeling sheepish and/or cheap. I like the cherry syrup, damnit, and this baby bump has given me full license to drink that concoction with reckless abandon.

Current worry: That my reckless abandon will lead me to fail my test for gestational diabetes in two weeks. Also that I will not be able to figure out my vocational future in a way that will complement motherhood. Seriously. We need to 1) pay our bills, 2) be parents who love our kid abundantly, 3) not let our lives be defined exclusively by parenthood, 4) not be afraid to embrace parenthood just because we are paranoid about losing ourselves.

Current project: Researching graphic design classes and reading my new book for wannabe designers. Forwarding my Photoshop and InDesign skills on posters that end in ugliness, 98% of the time. Craving design success.

Current movie: Father of the Bride, Part II

I'm basically the new NPR correspondent

Today I achieved a lifetime goal. Whilst gobbling down my Happy Meal and Diet Coke in the privacy of my car (sounds like the beginning of an episode of Intervention), I listened to Ross Reynolds on The Conversation as he invited listeners to share stories of their most beloved teachers.

So I called! And the screener person liked me story, so they put me on! And I told Ross all about my first grade teacher Mrs. Kloster, and I told him how her creativity has sparked all kinds of appreciation for creativity for me in the 20 years since I walked in her door.

Then I told the listeners that we panned for gold in the pool at Camp Side-by-Side this summer, which we actually did NOT do, since we decided that would be a major safety hazard. But we had talked about it and I was under major pressure to be clever on live radio. IT WAS LIVE, folks. But it sounded so great on the air. At least that's what my mom said.

http://kuow.org/program.php?id=24470