Confused Household Member (CHM): I really need a doula in the shower.
Me: (Blank stare.)
CHM: I just really need one to scratch my back and stuff.
Me: What are you saying?
CHM: I like the scratching on my SKIN! Why is that weird?
Me: OH HONESTLY. You mean a LOOOOOOOFAH. You are very confused about what a doula does.
CHM: What's a doula again?
Me: A childbirth support person. Typically a woman. She scratches your backs during labor.
CHM: Hmmm. Well, maybe I wasn't so confused after all.