False Cognates

Recently, a certain member of our household confused the words loofah and doula. (Hint: This person's name starts with a Du and ends with a Stin.) The following is a 100% accurate transcription of our conversation.

Confused Household Member (CHM): I really need a doula in the shower.

Me: (Blank stare.)

CHM: I just really need one to scratch my back and stuff.

Me: What are you saying?

CHM: I like the scratching on my SKIN! Why is that weird?

Me: OH HONESTLY. You mean a LOOOOOOOFAH. You are very confused about what a doula does.

CHM: What's a doula again?

Me: A childbirth support person. Typically a woman. She scratches your backs during labor.

CHM: Hmmm. Well, maybe I wasn't so confused after all.