Friday, March 30, 2012

Dear Donut

Dear Donut,

First of all, let's clear one thing up. We didn't mean to name you after a sugary confection associated with negligent law enforcement officials. But when the insurance company spelled your name as Dunkin, well, some things can't be undone. It seems pretty harmless for now, this nickname, especially since my own actual name is enough to make even the people at TSA chuckle on the job. Please don't struggle with childhood obesity. I'll blame myself.

Last night I left you at home to have a visit with Anne Lamott. I can't figure out the chemistry behind it (mostly because chemistry...blech), but after a few hours away my body is physically achy, like I forgot to take some medicine or something. But it's just missing you. I really do put the mother in smother, don't I? Luckily you still don't know the difference. Anyway, Annie and I had a lovely visit, along with five hundred other fans, and she reminded all of us a few things I'd like to think are gospel truth. Listening to her was worth being achy, and that's saying a lot, Donut.

If it's not your problem, you probably don't have the solution, she told us. And how do we ever know what's really our problem? Pay attention to what's inside your own hula hoop, she said. I know I'm going to want to keep you in my hula hoop for as long as possible, and if I joined the Y again, we could probably fit inside it even longer. But maybe the most terrifying and important thing I heard last night was that my whole job is to help you want to leave me. ACHE. ACHE. ACHE. That's my job! ACHE! To push you out of my hula hoop and help you see when your own begins and ends.

Right now you are chewing on at least eight fingers at once, and it must be pretty delectable because you aren't messing around with it. Your onesie is unsnapped and halfway up your chubby, bottle-fed belly, and you have Don Draper hair. Tonight I'm going to sing you the song about all the donuts in the world (to the tune of Jesus Loves the Little Children), and since we have already established you are a jelly-filled donut, I'll tell you that's my favorite kind of donut.

I sure do love you, kid. Have I mentioned I love you?


PS- Forgot to tell you that we learned you are genius on Wednesday. Took you in for a hearing study at the U, the first of three hour-long appointments. They kicked us out of the fancy sound booth in fifteen minutes and told me you set a WORLD RECORD (for infant hearing studies at this particular sound booth). You aced that hearing test and they canceled all the other visits, because you literally did a three hour test in fifteen minutes. Keep it up, that's how we'll pay for college.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Eat this! Immediately!

In an effort to shake up our rut of a dinner menu (with the fabulous exception of all the delivered meals people are still sharing), I whipped up these spicy noodles last night...and with great success! Success is defined, in this case, by whether or not you eat the finished product straight out of the bowl. You should try them. Especially if you are desperate for springy food, or spring, in general. They taste sunny.

Sunny Noodle Bang Bang


1 box whole wheat angel hair pasta
1 handful cilantro, chopped a lot or a little
10 mini sweet peppers, sliced extra thin (these usually come in a bag, Costco carries them)
1 large lime
1 English cucumber, chopped or julienned
2 squirts Sriracha sauce, give or take
soy sauce
fish sauce
fresh ginger
fresh garlic

Boil your water, boil your noodles. Chop the peppers, cucumber, cilantro, ginger, and garlic, and sauté them in a bit of oil to get to know each other. Save the garlic for a few minutes so you don't burn him up. This would be even better if you work in some green onion and carrot. I was out! (By the way, I am really liking my autocorrect action today. Saute is now sauté!)

Whisk the lime's juice, four big glugs of soy sauce, one glug of fish sauce, a tablespoon of honey, and a squirt of Sriracha. Superb addition? Sesame oil or black sesame seeds. Mmm. Taste it and make sure you like what's happening. A much better place to learn about vinaigrette is at

Now dump your noodles into the sauce, and dump your happy vegetables on top. Toss it all together and add more Sriracha or soy sauce if it seems unfinished.

Eat ravenously while your husband/roommate/small child observes your appetite in wonder.