Well, folks, like all the big time blogs (HA), this little corner of cyberspace is about to become a dialogue of burping, pooping, crying, lack-of-sleeping, stressing, hoping, and wondering...what does it mean to be a PARENT?
Because that's what's happening in our neck of the world. We are having a baby. Ready or not, that baby is going to arrive and we are going to be in charge. Of its small human life. Of its college fund. Of whether or not it has memorable family vacations. And so on.
The weirdest part so far is that I am feeling really, really disconnected from the whole deal. Even after an ultrasound a few weeks ago, I just can't get my brain around the concept that there is a whole little person in my gut. Because let's be real, my gut is busy doing so many cartwheels, it's not really sending the snoozy, cozy, new life vibe. It's sending the "I hate you and I'm going to make you hug that porcelain throne all day long, BOOYAH" vibe. Of course that leads me to wonder if I'm going to be like those wild mammals that look at their newborns and then go stroll the savannah, leaving their young to whichever whippersnapping predator wanders by. AM I GOING TO BE THE APATHETIC LIONESS? This is what would keep me up at night, except I'm way too tired.
Speaking of tired, I am winning every sleeping contest in the world right now. I can sleep all day! Every day! And be ready for bed again in half an hour! And the best part is that I can drink POP with caffeine in it. Because unlike the first 26 years of my life, caffeine now has 0% effect on my ability to sleep. Dr. Pepper, come to mama.
The baby is coming around New Year's Day. I'm going to pretend that an actual due date doesn't exist so I just give birth whenever I darn well please, and I won't be traumatized when I'm 50,000 hours past the day I wanted to be done being pregnant.